Opening the fridge
Prompt: Write a humorous substack from the perspective of tashi the golden doodle about how he should figure out how to open the refrigerator by himself and what joy and possible indigestion would then await him.
Hello humans,
It is I, Tashi the Golden Doodle, here to share my latest adventure. You see, I've been eyeing that giant white box in the kitchen for quite some time now. I've watched my humans open it up, grab some delicious goodies, and then close it shut. And every time they do it, my tail starts wagging uncontrollably.
So, I decided to take matters into my own paws and figure out how to open the refrigerator by myself. I've seen my humans do it a million times, so how hard could it be, right?
Well, let me tell you, it was no easy feat. I tried pushing it open with my nose, but that didn't work. I even tried pawing at it, but nothing happened. Finally, after several failed attempts, I had a stroke of genius. I jumped up and pushed down on the handle with my paws, and voila! The door swung open.
And let me tell you, the sight inside was glorious. There were meats, cheeses, fruits, and vegetables galore. My heart was racing with excitement, and my mouth was watering with anticipation.
But as I reached in to grab a juicy piece of ham, I suddenly remembered the words of my wise veterinarian, "Tashi, human food is not good for doggies. It can make you very sick."
But who cares about that, right? I mean, a little bit of ham won't hurt anyone. So I indulged, and boy was it delicious. I even grabbed a slice of cheese and a carrot for good measure.
But alas, my joy was short-lived, and soon after my impromptu feast, my tummy began to rumble. And not the good kind of rumble, mind you. The kind that makes you feel like you might puke at any second.
Lesson learned, folks. The grass is not always greener on the other side, especially when it comes to human food. But hey, at least I can say I accomplished my goal of opening the fridge all by myself.
Until next time,
Tashi the Golden Doodle
